I Think I Don't Like Brisket (Country Tavern)
"No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy."
Grumpy Glutton's corollary to this axiom states, "No roadtrip plan ever survives contact with the weather."
I had it all mapped out. I was gonna hit two, maybe three if I pushed it, of TexasMonthly's top five Texas BBQ joints. Early dinner at City Market in Luling. Drive up the road and spend the night in Lockhart. BBQ for breakfast at Smitty's Market. TexasMonthly says they open at 7:00 A.M. so who am I to argue. And, if I got greedy, hang around town for an early lunch at Kreuz Market before hitting the road again. I mean, what could possibly be better than 'que for three meals in a row???
Unfortunately, thunderstorms intervened.
Now, lest you think I'm some wimpy lamelock who lets a little rain spoil his parade, it wasn't the precip that worried me. It was the flooding. Houston was partially submerged and the road to Luling and Lockhart went through Houston. Time for plan B, a re-routing northward.
Fortunately, TexasMonthly provided an excellent resource for choosing a new route, map showing their top 50 barbeque joints plus a few other noteworthies. If I couldn't hit three top fives, perhaps I could get at least one top 50. I chose Country Tavern on Texas Route 31 near Kilgore.
It looked so easy. Hop off I-20 where Route 31 intersected, take Route 31 parallel to the Interstate to Tyler, then head back north to I-20, stopping at Country Tavern along the way.
Here, another axiom, "The map is not the territory," intervened. I got lost, something that very rarely happens. I followed the signs. I swear. But the signs ran out. I drove in circles through downtown Kilgore, trying to find my way. It didn't help that half of the streets in town were torn up by construction. Our stimulus dollars at work? Finally, I had to totally humiliate myself. I had to ask for directions.
Good news: after some twists and turns, directions got me back to Route 31. Bad news: going in the wrong direction. On a section of road that was four-lane and limited access.
After getting myself turned around and driving deeper into the backwoods of Texas, getting hungrier all the while, I stumbled upon Country Tavern. It's not much to look at. From the outside, the red metal shed appears to be much better suited to a CubCadet lawn tractor dealership than a restaurant. Inside, TexasMonthly got it right. A cave, albeit a large one. The nicest piece of visible real estate is the hallway that leads from the main room to the restrooms. They actually built it out of wood and finished it. If a tornado hit, bar would be the only part of the front of the house that would have a chance to remain standing.
Country Tavern
My first reaction upon entering and seeing a waitress was, "I want to sit in HER section." My second reaction was that I wanted to sit in all of their sections. They were hot. All of 'em. Not big hair, Dallas bleached blonde hot (which isn't). Think Lea Thompson girl-next-door in All the Right Moves hot. I sat at the bar. The bartender was, well, you can guess.
I asked what was best. She suggested pork ribs. This put me in a quandary because, to me, Texas 'que means brisket. I asked if I could have a ribs/brisket combo plate. Mistake — gotta listen to your bartender.
The ribs tied with the coconut cream pie at Del's in Tucumcari as the best single food item I ate during my roadtrip. Tender but some tooth resistance. Lightly sauced. A touch sweet. Just like I like 'em.
Country Tavern Ribs and Brisket Combo Platter
Brisket disappointing for reasons I can't put a finger on. It had the right characteristics: crunchy exterior, relatively tender, beefy flavor. But, compared to the ribs, there was just no comparison! The ribs were just SO. MUCH. BETTER. Then it hit me — maybe I just don't like brisket all that much! The thought horrified me, mostly because it may be true!
Cole slaw good, with crisp cabbage and vinegary sauce. Beans were, well, beans. About as good as beans can be. Good iced tea.
I listened to the bartender re: dessert and ordered banana pudding. It tasted good but the texture was annoying. I expected a pure pudding. This seemed to have been cooked in a crust. The chunks of pastry mixed in it just didn't work for me.
The waitresses and ribs made it a great meal. But this brisket thing may drive me to therapy. Not likin' brisket just ain't right!
Note to grammarians: Yes, I know I ended a sentence with a preposition. Three sentences, in fact. I'm with Churchill on that bloody nonsense.
Grumpy Glutton's corollary to this axiom states, "No roadtrip plan ever survives contact with the weather."
I had it all mapped out. I was gonna hit two, maybe three if I pushed it, of TexasMonthly's top five Texas BBQ joints. Early dinner at City Market in Luling. Drive up the road and spend the night in Lockhart. BBQ for breakfast at Smitty's Market. TexasMonthly says they open at 7:00 A.M. so who am I to argue. And, if I got greedy, hang around town for an early lunch at Kreuz Market before hitting the road again. I mean, what could possibly be better than 'que for three meals in a row???
Unfortunately, thunderstorms intervened.
Now, lest you think I'm some wimpy lamelock who lets a little rain spoil his parade, it wasn't the precip that worried me. It was the flooding. Houston was partially submerged and the road to Luling and Lockhart went through Houston. Time for plan B, a re-routing northward.
Fortunately, TexasMonthly provided an excellent resource for choosing a new route, map showing their top 50 barbeque joints plus a few other noteworthies. If I couldn't hit three top fives, perhaps I could get at least one top 50. I chose Country Tavern on Texas Route 31 near Kilgore.
It looked so easy. Hop off I-20 where Route 31 intersected, take Route 31 parallel to the Interstate to Tyler, then head back north to I-20, stopping at Country Tavern along the way.
Here, another axiom, "The map is not the territory," intervened. I got lost, something that very rarely happens. I followed the signs. I swear. But the signs ran out. I drove in circles through downtown Kilgore, trying to find my way. It didn't help that half of the streets in town were torn up by construction. Our stimulus dollars at work? Finally, I had to totally humiliate myself. I had to ask for directions.
Good news: after some twists and turns, directions got me back to Route 31. Bad news: going in the wrong direction. On a section of road that was four-lane and limited access.
After getting myself turned around and driving deeper into the backwoods of Texas, getting hungrier all the while, I stumbled upon Country Tavern. It's not much to look at. From the outside, the red metal shed appears to be much better suited to a CubCadet lawn tractor dealership than a restaurant. Inside, TexasMonthly got it right. A cave, albeit a large one. The nicest piece of visible real estate is the hallway that leads from the main room to the restrooms. They actually built it out of wood and finished it. If a tornado hit, bar would be the only part of the front of the house that would have a chance to remain standing.
Country Tavern
My first reaction upon entering and seeing a waitress was, "I want to sit in HER section." My second reaction was that I wanted to sit in all of their sections. They were hot. All of 'em. Not big hair, Dallas bleached blonde hot (which isn't). Think Lea Thompson girl-next-door in All the Right Moves hot. I sat at the bar. The bartender was, well, you can guess.
I asked what was best. She suggested pork ribs. This put me in a quandary because, to me, Texas 'que means brisket. I asked if I could have a ribs/brisket combo plate. Mistake — gotta listen to your bartender.
The ribs tied with the coconut cream pie at Del's in Tucumcari as the best single food item I ate during my roadtrip. Tender but some tooth resistance. Lightly sauced. A touch sweet. Just like I like 'em.
Country Tavern Ribs and Brisket Combo Platter
Brisket disappointing for reasons I can't put a finger on. It had the right characteristics: crunchy exterior, relatively tender, beefy flavor. But, compared to the ribs, there was just no comparison! The ribs were just SO. MUCH. BETTER. Then it hit me — maybe I just don't like brisket all that much! The thought horrified me, mostly because it may be true!
Cole slaw good, with crisp cabbage and vinegary sauce. Beans were, well, beans. About as good as beans can be. Good iced tea.
I listened to the bartender re: dessert and ordered banana pudding. It tasted good but the texture was annoying. I expected a pure pudding. This seemed to have been cooked in a crust. The chunks of pastry mixed in it just didn't work for me.
The waitresses and ribs made it a great meal. But this brisket thing may drive me to therapy. Not likin' brisket just ain't right!
Note to grammarians: Yes, I know I ended a sentence with a preposition. Three sentences, in fact. I'm with Churchill on that bloody nonsense.
Comments