C’mon, admit it. You have ‘em. Guilty (food) pleasures. They’re full of sugar, salt and fat. They lack vitamins, minerals and fiber. Their ingredients are inorganic, unnatural, unsustainable and shipped from a thousand miles away. They’re sold by chains, the bigger, the better. In spite, or because, of these sins, we love them.

These are my top ten guilty food pleasures. I included only foods that are prepared (more or less) to order. Packaged goods need not apply. In other words, a Twinkie does not qualify but a piping hot deep-fried Twinkie does.

1) From what I can tell, Jack in the Box tacos contain dog food, er, spicy beef (at least that's what the Jack in the Box web site calls it), cheese, lettuce and taco sauce in a corn tortilla that's been deep fried. Yes, as far as I can determine, even the lettuce is deep fried! Oh, but do they taste good. They're cheap, usually 69¢ or two for 99¢, depending on Jack's mood at the moment. But the reason to eat them is that they do taste so, so good.

2) McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger tastes great, as long as you remove the horrid pickles and, at just over a buck, it's cheap. The mystery meat doesn't taste anything like beef but that's beside the point. I love the flavor even if it's not one known in nature.

3) McDonald’s Egg McMuffin is another favorite from Mickey D's. Being the health-conscious glutton I am, and not liking the taste of egg yolk, I remove the yellow stuff to create an Egg White McMuffin. It's easy to do because the yolk is always cooked solid as a rock. After years of experimentation, I've discovered that the McDonald's coffee stirrer is the perfect tool to use when performing yolk extraction.

4) I used to work in an office two doors down from McDonald's, making it a convenient stop for a mid-afternoon pick me up. Sometimes, I'd opt for something that I could at least pretend was healthy, such as the Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait. Other times, I wouldn't even pretend. See #2. On still other occasions, I'd try to split the middle, opting for McDonald's Chicken Selects with Chipotle Barbeque Sauce. At least, I thought that I was splitting it down the middle. Imagine my dismay when I actually checked the nutritional information. Double Cheeseburger: 440 calories, 23 grams fat, 1150 mg sodium. Three-piece Chicken Selects with Chipotle Sauce: 470 calories, 24 grams fat, 1270 mg sodium. The chicken was actually worse for me than the burger!!! At that point, Chicken Selects moved from the kind of bad list to the fully guilty list. And, I never did get around to checking the nutritional info on the Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait. I don't want to know.

5) I feel like a traitor, San Francisco being the city of the Dungeness crab and all. I know that connoisseurs wax eloquent about the Alaskan king crab, the stone crab and the Maryland blue crab. But my favorite is the snow crab and none is better than Red Lobster's snow crab. I prefer the flavor of the meat to that of other crabs. I've learned to rapidly disassemble snow crabs so the reward is very much worth the work. And I like my crab served hot, with drawn butter, as is done by Red Lobster. Many weeks, you'll find me at Red Lobster's Crab Crackin' Monday, devouring two pounds of snow crab. For extra enjoyment, watch some of The Deadliest Catch before heading out to Red Lobster.

6) I used to commute from the City to Sunnyvale. Making that drive can cause a glutton to work up quite an appetite. Fortunately (or not), there was a Denny's between my exit off of the 101 and the office. (Yes, the same office that was two doors down from McDonald's. In fact, my last two places of full-time employment featured Denny's and McDonald's as the closest food options. One of these days, I really do need a job in the City.) Anyway, if I was famished, I'd pick up a Denny’s ham and cheese omelet to go with well-done hash browns (well-done is key) and eat it in my office. Many co-workers suggested that I not do this, it being bad for my health. But I knew the truth — the smell was driving them nuts and they were jealous that they hadn't stopped for their own omelets on the way to the office.

7) OK, so they're not Anchor Bar's or even Hot Wings' but Denny’s chicken wings are pretty darn good for a huge budget food chain. Denny's usually gets the outside pretty crispy without totally drying out the meat and the hot sauce is clearly Buffalo-inspired.

8) I was introduced to Kentucky Fried Chicken at a very young age. Even before KFC had its own stores, the Dairy Dell in Indiana, PA  served Col. Sanders' Kentucky Fried Chicken, under some sort of licensing arrangement, I assume. The Dairy Dell served what we now call Original Recipe but these days, I prefer my KFC Extra Crispy. It truly is finger lickin' good!

9) I love milkshakes, especially chocolate milkshakes and the chocolate shakes at Fosters Freeze are as good as it gets. The location in Firebaugh, just off of I-5, has offered a welcome respite during drives between San Francisco and Los Angeles. There is no Fosters Freeze within the City's limits. Mel's is a good backup choice but, at Mel's I recommend 86ing the whipped cream and cherry. They just get in the way.

10) I also love a good hot dog and the best I've had in recent memory were the hot dogs at the bar at the Palo Alto Municipal Golf Course, of all places. The dogs are tasty when you eat them but the taste doesn't haunt you for the rest of the day. Fresh buns. The condiments I like (ketchup, Tabasco, onions, grated cheese — I don't like mustard, odd, I know). After playing a round, nothing beats a good dog and a Coke (the Coke at the bar is mixed with just the right blend of syrup and carbonated water). I haven't been there for years so I can't say for sure that they're as good as they used to be but when I lived in PA, they were unbeatable. (Also, unbeatable at the time, again don't know the current situation, was the turkey dinner in the restaurant. Freshly baked whole turkey every day with mashers, stuffing, gravy and cranberry sauce. Just like Thanksgiving. At the time, less than $10! What a deal!)

OK, now I've 'fessed up. Your turn. What are your favorite guilty food pleasures? You'll feel better once you get this off of your chest. Trust me. Let us know in the comment section.