The Tablegrumper Redux
In an earlier post, I blogged Marcia Gagliardi’s, aka, The Tablehopper’s, list of No More in 2008. If you don’t already subscribe to her weekly newsletter, shame on you for ignoring my advice.
As promised, I’ve blogged her 2007 list in this post. I’ll offer my own 2008 list in a future entry.
No More in 2007 from The Tablehopper – a Grumpy reaction.
1. Tuna tartare. I’m in favor of eliminating anything tartare. Cooking meat was high on the list of reasons why cavemen harnessed fire.
2. Amuse bouches. How true. Amuse bouches usually taste like the kitchen is ridding itself of bad cream cheese.
3. Crème brûlée flavored with [insert trendy ingredient here…]. I’ve seen lavender crème brûlée, chocolate crème brûlée, mocha crème brûlée and butterscotch crème brûlée. Yuck! If you insist on deviating from the classic recipe, add vanilla bean. It tweaks the flavor a bit but retains the essence of the dessert. Don’t get any more exotic. But flavored crème brûlée is just a symptom of a more widespread disease that infects chefs, food critics and foodies alike – the obsession with inventiveness. What is wrong with executing a classic dish in the classic fashion and doing it really, really well??? Not one thing! Yet, I constantly see restaurants being dinged for not being inventive. Balderdash!
4. Pinot Noir. Stupid movie drove the price through the roof. Marcia suggested Merlot but I turned to Côtes du Rhône.
5. Bottle service. Can you say pretentious? I knew you could.
6. Fernet. There are two and only two reasons drink Fernet. One, you don’t feel well and need something to settle your insides. Fernet really works. Two, a beautiful woman (or man, if that’s your preference) is buying it for you.
7. Truffle oil. I’m OK with truffle oil, it’s nettles that are driving me nuts. Do I really want to order a dish where something stinging is one of the ingredients?
8. Kobe beef. If it ain’t the real deal, it’s false advertising. Sue the bastards.
9. Braised short ribs. No, no, no! Don’t take my short ribs away!
10. Hamachi crudos. See #1.
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